John the Baptist, Patton Oswalt, and You: At the Crossroads [Advent 3B]



The Rev. Jeremiah Williamson
John 1:6-8, 19-28

John the Baptist, Patton Oswalt and You: At the Crossroads

This is John the Baptist at the crossroads.  All he has to say is, yes.  And everything changes.  No more itchy camel skin.  No more eating bugs.  No more fighting the bees and bears for wild honey.  No more long shifts down at the river.  From second string to shining star.  All he had to do was say, yes.   

And it would have been easy.  It would have been easy to say yes.  They wanted him to say yes.  When they ask, “Are you the Messiah?”  All he had to do was say yes.  The crowds would be happy.  His life would change: respect, authority, followers, and the most amazing title ever.  For centuries his people – his people, they could really be his people, one could get used to that – they had longed for the Messiah.  A king.  A leader.  A Savior. 

It's not like he asked for this attention.  He was just doing his thing.  He was being who God called him to be: a baptizer.  A prophet – not THE prophet – but a prophetic voice crying out in the wilderness.  It wasn't meant to a building block or a stepping stone; this was it for him.  He was John, the guy who lived in the desert and baptized with water.  

But they thought he was more than that.  They brought up the Messiah talk, not him. They were asking the questions.  And now all he had to do was say, yes.  It was so easy.

Some of you might know the comedian Patton Oswalt.  He has been on the sitcom King of Queens; he was the voice of Remy, the Rat star of the animated film Ratatouille. And also he is a pretty well-known stand-up comic.  In his most recent stand-up special, he tells the story of his first casino gig, which I have cleaned up for church on this lightest of Advent Sundays.  He says: “Not only was it an offer to do a casino, it was the most money I've ever been offered to do anything in my life or in my career. For one hour of my time.  They were not only offering me a profane amount of money; and they weren't offering me an obscene amount of money; they were offering me a sacrilegious amount of money.... And I hate to say this, but when I heard the amount, my lizard brain went: Ahh! Money! I want it!  Off I go to the casino!”

It is amazing how personalized temptation really is.  Every person has their crossroads.  John the Baptist is no exception.  He was human. It is easy to forget that.  He is a saint.  He is the forerunner for Jesus. But like you and me and Patton Oswalt, he was human.  And some pretty important, influential people saw something special in him.  They asked him, “Are you the one?”  I wonder if he ever, just for a second, started to believe the hype.  I wonder if he ever asked himself the same question: Am I the Messiah?

Back at the casino Oswalt faces his own temptation.  He continues: “I enter a hotel room...that was bigger than any house or apartment I have ever lived in in my life.... And I'm marveling at it, and I'm not paying much attention to [the club manager], and I only halfway hear her say, 'Would you be willing to do a meet and greet for our high-roller VIP customers.' And I'm thinking, 'They are paying me so much money.'  Absolutely, Yes.”

A couple of hours later, and a couple of hours before his performance, Oswalt arrives at the meet and greet. He continues: “And they bring in the forty VIP, high-roller customers, who happen to be the forty drunkest human beings I've ever seen ever.  And I was in a frat in college.... The whole thing takes 10 minutes; they leave.  And I'm standing there thinking, 'It's seven o' clock; the show starts in two hours.  They're going to drink more; that's why they are leaving. The room holds 400 people.  So one out of every ten will be that drunk.  And in my mind I'm like, “This is gonna be a nightmare; this will be terrible.”

Oswalt returns to his room, comes back down just before his show is set to begin.  And he finds out that the casino spent the previous 45 minutes selling unlimited $2 shots to all four hundred people in the audience.  So not just 40, but all 400 hundred audience members are completely drunk.  But he says: “I'm still a professional, and they are paying me a lot of money.  And I tell the woman running the room, 'How much do you want me to do 50 minutes, an hour?'  And then she said, 'It's totally cool if you just do half an hour.'  I go, 'Well, for the money you are paying me I should do the full hour.'  And she said, 'Please do not do more than 30 minutes. I'm serious.  We'll be perfectly happy – just do thirty minutes.'  So, they announce me – I'm off-stage. The announcer gets on, 'Ladies and gentlemen, from the King of Queens, Patton Oswalt.'  The minute I become visible, the crowd starts, I wasn't heckled, the crowd starts screaming everything they've ever seen me in.  Just screaming.  All 400 people are shrieking.  For half an hour, I did not tell one joke.  I did not tell a joke.  I had my career screamed at me; I agreed with it; then I said good night; got a standing ovation; I walked off-stage; and I said to myself, 'I just paid for one year of my daughter's college; I did not tell a single joke and I've never made an audience happier.' 

“I work hard writing...jokes.  Trying to be original.  Do new [stuff].  I didn't know that, if you get to a certain point in your career, you can just go and get looked at and screamed at and get paid.  That's the...crossroads.  Because when I got off-stage, the lady that ran the club said, 'That was awesome! We have 15 other casinos. If you want to go out, we'll bring you up every weekend.”

Oswalt concludes saying: “That offer is always there.  So whenever you see me doing stand-up, from this point on, know that right behind me is the pulsing  door of compromise and success.  It is always there.”[1]   

Every tough crowd at every little comedy club in Youngstown, Ohio or Buffalo, New York.  Every painstakingly crafted joke that bombs.  Every harsh critique and bad review – a reminder.  And all Patton Oswalt has to do is say yes.  Just turn the knob and open the door.             

Every time John picked up a locust for dinner.  Every time he laid his head down on a rock in the cave he called home.  Every time one of his disciples left to find a “real” Messiah.  Every time someone called him crazy and disrespected him.  Every time it was right there: the pulsing door of compromise and success.  All he had to do was say, “Yes.  You are correct.  I am the Messiah.”

But he never did. 

Being a follower of Jesus means always standing at the crossroads.  It is not a once-in-a-lifetime decision to follow or not follow.  Every day is Jesus saying, “Follow me.”  And every day we are faced with choices and decisions and temptations that are much more appealing than the way of the cross.  The temptation does not always look like the biggest payday ever or the chance to be the Messiah.  It is amazing just how personalized temptation really is.  But it is always something.

Tempting us with compromise and success.  But God is calling us to fade away – into the light of Jesus.  To trade our shining star dreams for life in the shadow of the Messiah.  To be like John: not the light, but witnesses to the light.  By our lives and our decisions, we make Christ known, we make Christ real in our world.  We reflect the light of the Christ.  When we choose love over fear, when we protect the image of God in another person – whether friend or enemy, when we allow ourselves to be God's instruments of peace in a violent world, people see Jesus – in us and through us. 

We stand at the crossroads – the cross before us; the pulsing door of compromise and success always behind us.  Every day, every decision, is an opportunity to choose the way of Jesus.  Every day, every decision, another chance to be children of the Light.





[1]   Sellout” from Patton Oswalt's Tragedy plus Comedy equals Time, 2014.

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