A New Perspective/A New Commandment [Proper 18A - Matthew 18:15-20 & Romans 13:8-14]

The Rt. Rev. Jeremiah Williamson

Matthew 18:15-20 & Romans 13:8-14

 

A New Perspective/A New Commandment

St. Sacrement, Bolton Landing

 

The pants were navy blue.  I was almost definitely sure of that.  I think.  And so I was confused about my wife’s outfit – an outfit seemingly coordinated around black pants, which she was almost definitely not wearing.  Except that she was wearing black pants – and she was almost definitely sure of that.  But I could not see it.  We simply could not agree on the color of those pants.  They were navy blue, for sure – unless they were black.

 

Of course, in the grand scheme of things, it was no big deal.  She’s allowed to clash if she wants to.  But, it was further proof that people see the same things differently.  It happens all the time – in big and small ways. 

 

This morning, these pews are filled with people who see and experience the world in a variety of ways.  We have different tastes in food and clothing.  We prefer different makes and models of cars and different styles of homes.  We watch different shows and listen to different music.  We root for different sports teams and enjoy different hobbies.  And likely find it hard to wrap our minds around the stranger preferences of our fellow worshipers.  Like, there are probably many mayonnaise lovers in this room and I cannot make sense of that. 

 

In this very room, members of the same Adirondack parish also hold some irreconcilable political opinions and absolutely incongruent theological views.  It is just the truth.  We are shaped by our experiences, and families, and contexts, and preferences.  And because of those variables, we just don’t see things the same. 

 

Sometimes, as I said, not even colors.  I had a friend in college who was color blind.  His first car was a Ford Taurus.  Not really a dream first car for a young man.  But he took consolation in its tough color scheme – a sleek silver paint with a jet black interior.  Except it was actually mint green with a green interior.  From his perspective it was about as cool as a Taurus could get.  Sadly for him, very few people shared his perspective. 

 

People just don’t see things the same.  And that is OK, except when it is not.  It can be a beautiful feature of the human experience.  Also it can be frustrating and polarizing and complicating.

 

Recognizing this clash of humans, Jesus has some good advice in today’s Gospel.  “If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone.”  If they listen, you are all good.  I like it; I just wish it were always that simple.  I mean, sometimes that does work out.  Occasionally the offending party recognizes their wrong.  And everything resolves beautifully: apology, forgiveness, reconciliation, friends for life. 

 

But that does not always happen, believe it or not; because people do not always see things the same.  And sometimes things in the church, between members, do not resolve beautifully.  I know this because I have been in church my entire life.  And was a parish priest for a long time.  And now as a bishop, I hear stories from 105 congregations of humans.

 

Sometimes, even after taking Jesus’ advice, things are not all good.  Sometimes the person approached and confronted has assessed the situation differently and does not feel an offense was perpetrated at all, does not believe they should have to apologize.  Other times, in the worst of times, the approached believes they were the injured party, that the sin was actually against them.  That is a tough situation.  With people involved, it is never simple; life brings conflict, inevitably; and conflict can turn out good, bad, and/or ugly.

 

There are of course instances when the right and wrong are black and white, when innocent people are harmed and justice is betrayed.  But much of life is lived in the messy grey area.  And what then?

 

I think the Apostle Paul would tell us that the only way through the grey is love.  He writes in his letter to the Romans, today’s epistle: “Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.  The commandments…are summed up in this word, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.”

 

That sounds pretty simple.  Rather than memorizing a legal code, studying the canons, carefully interpreting the letter, worrying over the details, and studiously keeping the laws, you just love.  St. Augustine famously said, “Love and do what you will.”  Nice and simple.  But not easy.

 

Because loving people, broken, stubborn, fragile, emotional, irrational, flawed people is never easy – especially not for a broken, stubborn, fragile, emotional, irrational, flawed person.  It takes work, hard work.

 

Love is not a feeling or a sentiment.  It is a discipline – forged in forgiveness and modeled on the Cross.  It demands of us the humility to submit our perspective to the intentional practice of empathy.  It demands that we are gentler than we want to be and kinder than people deserve.  That we show mercy especially when it is unmerited.  That we walk around dripping drops of grace in a transactional world.  Love means taking quiet losses when winning feels so validating.

 

Love is painful; it is a sacrifice.  And yet it is the only thing that can heal our broken hearts and our broken relationships in this broken world.  We all need it – more than most are willing to admit.

 

Jesus’ command in today’s Gospel is not a dusty policy; it is an invitation to love people more than being right, more than winning.  Jesus recognizes that it is easy to cut bait and walk away.  Because people clash and conflict.  The hard work is to stay with it, to tell the truth until redemption comes true, to keep trying – even if at times that love is not returned and kindness is trampled.

 

Each person has their perspective.  But each person is given the same commandment by the one who lived love and lives love through us still: Jesus said, “Love one another.”  Love will never make navy blue black, but it will make the differences matter much less.  Because love helps us see beyond our differences and allows us to see each other.